


The Set-up

by OneFrustratedWriterPerson



Series: A Host of Golden Daffodils [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 21:58:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8418643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneFrustratedWriterPerson/pseuds/OneFrustratedWriterPerson
Summary: “Does no one remember I enlisted in the army? What the hell makes you think I haven’t yet?”There was a beat of silence before Tony scoffs, “nice try, Steve-oh. But don’t worry, in the spirit of Christmas, my kind, giving soul will help you find a nice woman to make cute patriotic babies with.”





	

It was Christmas Eve and, by some will of the universe, the team had managed to come together to celebrate the occasion. 

 

The tower was beautifully decorated, no doubt due to Pepper’s influence. Red and gold ornaments filled the halls (Tony couldn't stop grinning), and the subtle, pleasant scent of potpourri constantly wafted through the air. A magnificent tree towered over the common room, just to the side of the massive fireplace; it’s branches tastefully covered in rows upon rows of ribbons, fine baubles (some of them were avenger-themed—Darcy’s handiwork), and ridiculous amounts of stringed popcorn; a small mountain of carefully and not-so-carefully wrapped gifts (ahem, Jane) await to be opened, while interestingly designed Christmas socks (Thor’s had an actual knitted replica of Mjolnir attached to his, which ultimate led to euphemisms, innuendoes, and quite a number of sexual harassment threats) hang by the fireplace for each one of them.

 

It was well past seven in the evening. Half of the team has just gotten back from a mission they should’ve finished hours earlier. They were already rushing to catch up with the rest of them for dinner, as they’d been warned by JARVIS that Clint and Tony had been whining a lot about having to wait. (To be fair, there was an obscene amount of freshly cooked lasagna staring them in the face at the time.)

 

They didn’t have much planned; Darcy volunteered to cook them a generous spread with Sam helping out with the desserts. (Who knew the Falcon could make pounds upon pounds of the most decadent tiramisu?)

 

A few excruciatingly long minutes later, they finally dug in, small conversations sprouting as they took their fill. Pepper chatting happily with Darcy about the recent boost in scientists’ satisfaction, while Thor shares some stories from his earlier years in Midgard. He had just finished telling them of how Jane had bought him a “mobile device” after the Battle of New York, and how Darcy has been teaching him to use it to send messages to his beloved, when Tony seemed to light up with a (devious) idea.

 

“Speaking of love lives—hey, Capsicle, I think it’s time we thawed out that unused heart of yours. You know, get you back into the world.”

 

“Uh, no thanks, Ton—” 

 

“Nonsense! We need to get you laid, and pronto. It’s criminal you’re still a virgin. It’s un-American, Steve. You disappoint your countrymen.”

 

“Does no one remember I enlisted in the army? What the hell makes you think I haven’t yet?”

 

There was a beat of silence before Tony scoffs, “nice try, Steve-oh. But don’t worry, in the spirit of Christmas, my kind, giving soul will help you find a nice woman to make cute patriotic babies with.”

 

“ _Stark_ —”

 

Sensing Steve’s growing exasperation (something she could totally relate to), she quickly shuts down her husband’s egging with a tone she only uses in face of difficult (misogynistic) businessmen, firm and effective, “shut up and eat your salad, Tony.” 

 

“Yes, dear.” 

* * *

 

 

Hours later, after a ludicrous amount of eggnog and ginger cookies, and after skillful manipulation, Clint finally started sharing about his not-so-secret-but-still-unknown-girlfriend. 

 

“She’s really something,” he started, a fond smile on his face as he thought of her. “I, uh, met her during an assignment. Maria asked me to run backup during a recruitment operation.” 

 

“See, Cap! If Clint can find love while fooling around during an op—oh, I bet Hill wasn’t happy. Tell me she wasn't happy.”

 

“No, _Tony_. She wasn't happy, but seeing as I got her to agree to sign up I think she let it slide.”

 

Banner starts with realization, “your girlfriend’s the robotics engineer I’ve been hearing about?”

 

“Yup.” He grins proudly. The rest can’t help but smile at his obvious infatuation. 

 

“Oh you’re _whipped_.” Sam teased, outright laughing when Clint glared at him (it was half hearted, but Sam knew he had to seal his air vents shut for the next few days. Just to be safe.)

 

“He really is.” Natasha agreed, standing up to get another glass of Tovaritch. The archer makes an indignant sound, before huffing in defeat. 

 

Rhodey decides to put his own two cents in, “maybe Tony’s got a point, Steve. You gotta start putting yourself out there, you know? Live a little.” Tony beams at his best friend.

 

“Exactly! Do you have anyone in mind? I mean, do you even have a type? or are you one of those I’ll-know-if-she’s-the-one type of guy? Never mind, I’m sure we can think of something.” 

 

The rest of them can practically see the gears turning in the the engineer’s head. Steve ( _again_ ) tries to stop the ideas before it gets out of hand, “that’s very generous of you, but I really don’t wa—”

 

“No, really, we can have a party in here in the tower! What’s your type? I bet I could get some you’d actually notic—”

 

Taking pity on Steve (who was literally one step away from pulling his own hair), Natasha casually interjects, “Stark, I’d appreciate it if you’d stop trying to set up my husband with other women.”

 

“Oh, come on! He needs to live a lit—I’m sorry, can you repeat that last bit?” 

 

She just stares back at him, looking as relaxed and nonchalant as ever. 

 

Sam sags back into the couch in disbelief, “Holy—”

 

“I KNEW IT!” That came from Darcy. 

 

“Wha—” Jane jerks out from her cuddle session with Thor. The Norse god looks around, confused by the sudden chaos.

 

“You sly bastard.” Rhodey breathed out, his glass held frozen halfway to his lips. 

 

“You’re awfully calm about this, Clint.” Bruce quietly observed, still nestled comfortably in his arm chair. His eyes give away his surprise however, glancing not-so-discretely between the “married” couple in question. 

 

Steve leisurely sets down his beer on the coffee table before settling his arm around Natasha’s shoulder, pulling her close. She lets him, knowing what he’s up to, his eyes glinting mischievously.

 

“My wife asked you to stop setting me up, Tony.” 

 

Thor let out a loud bark of boisterous laughter, sloshing his tankard in the air. Jane squeals, both in delight and indignation as some (a lot) of his drink spills over. “Such joyous news, my shield-brothers!” 

 

“Well, someone had to stand in as witness, right?” Clint explained, hiding his mirth by taking a long sip of whiskey. “Plus, Natasha is my best friend.” 

 

They let that sink in for a few seconds, before Tony breaks the silence again, stubbornly shaking is head. “Nope. Uh-uh. I call bullshit. Nope. No _fucking_ way.”

 

Pepper, looking as if she was ready to jump out of her seat to harass them for details, frowned at her boyfriend. “Tony—” 

 

“You’re the Black Widow.” He reasoned, pointing an accusatory finger at her, “you’re incapable of love.” Natasha merely raised a delicate eyebrow at him, finding his tirade amusing. Steve, however, did not. 

 

“ _Stark_.” He said warningly, looking ready to sock the billionaire on the jaw. 

 

Pepper beats him by jamming a sharp elbow to his ribs while sending out a warning of her own. Tony yelps painfully in protest. “ _Tony_.” She sends an apologetic smile at the both of them, “I’m really sorry, Nata—”

 

Darcy own vexation cuts Pepper off, a throw pillow suddenly connecting with Tony’s face. “Can it, Tin Man. Don’t ruin my OTP.” Sam and Rhodey laugh while Thor’s eyebrows furrow at her language. He turns to Jane. “What is this Oh-Tee-Pee she speaks of, my love?”

 

Jane sighs deeply at her best friend’s antics. She really should've been used to this by now. “It’s an acronym, Thor.” Another sigh. “I’ll explain it to you later,” she promises, gently patting his cheek in pacification. Tony, however, can’t seem to let any of it go. 

 

“That is not the point, Shortstack! We’ve never even seen them make lovey-dovey eyes at each other! Not once!” Bruce rolls his eyes in exasperation at his _Science_!-bro.

 

“Speak for yourself, Stark—” Clint started, but is immediately shot down by a loaded glare. Tony huffs and turns back to the both of them. 

 

“And you could've told us before you got hitched. I mean, I could've helped pay for shit—no offense, Rogers. And when did you even have time for a honeymoon?! And, and…” It was clear that Tony was losing his steam, his shoulders dropping just a tad. 

 

“Look,” Steve interjected, mindful to not rouse up engineer again, “we didn’t plan to get married when we did, and, well,” he smiles sheepishly, glancing at Natasha (his wife, god) with eyes swirling with emotion, “it may not be the most romantic thing, but I’m really glad with how things worked out.” 

 

The smile that Natasha sends Steve’s way makes the billionaire pause and rethink the whole thing. “I don’t know, Steve,” her lithe hand, now adorned with a simple yet beautiful platinum ring— _where the hell did that come from?!_ —reaches up to brush back loose hair from his forehead, “I thought the impromptu ceremony outside the theatre with the ordained ballerina was all very romantic.” 

 

A beat of silence and then, “ok, you know what? Fine. I’ll accept it. You’re married. Congratulations, woo—fucking—hoo, but just so you know, you won’t get any wedding presents from this side.” Pepper didn't even bother try and just clicked her tongue at him loudly, something Tony pointedly tried to ignore. Both Rhodey and Bruce fail to hide their snickers at his lousy attempt. 

 

Knowing it was the best they could hope for, Steve let out a relieved sigh, “thank you, Tony.”

 

The billionaire turned to the archer, “how the fuck did you get there without us noticing? I mean, them, I get, they have missions together and shit, but you were in deep cover in South Africa for months! _Months_!” 

 

“I’m a fucking spy, Tony.” He said offhandedly, knocking back the rest of his spiked eggnog. 

 

“Wait—ordained ballerina?” Darcy squealed. 

 

Both of them grinned.

* * *

 

A week later, they find a pair of round-trip tickets to a private island in the Caribbean on their kitchen countertop.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, lovely readers! Thanks for taking the time to read my work <3 I know y'all must have your own stuff to deal with, so it really means a lot. Feedback is always welcome! 
> 
> This is obviously one of my lighter/happier stories. I'm trying to branch out and practice writing different things. But don't worry! I'm currently working on the 7th chapter of 'In the Sepulcher by the Sea'. I hope to update that by the end of this semester *fingers crossed*
> 
> Hope everyone's doing well!


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